Friday, October 28, 2011

Having a Clear View and a Loose Hold

I have been very badly stuck for the last several weeks but I have been incredibly reluctant to call it writer's block.  Really?  I should have labeled it as that to begin with and then just found a way around it.  I wasn't sure what to do and I was allowing myself to be really depressed about a number of things.  I've come to the conclusion that for my own ability to write I MUST NOT send my work to anyone else for any reason other than that I am sending them my completed novel to read for their own enjoyment.  I am far too influenced by every opinion and I so desperately want to please people that I will change everything with every opinion I get.  I have realized I am not one of those people who can sift through the opinions for the gems and keep the writing my own.  I need to focus on my own writing for my own reasons.

Now that does not mean I will cease asking for help.  Of course if I'm stuck I intend to ask for loads of help, but it's not quite the same as having someone reading your work with the purpose of judging it.  I can't stand judging from that perspective.  I really just want everyone to love everything I do.  That being said I know that's not possible too, but if I am serious about this I'm going to have to give that illusion up especially.  So I am going to take some advice from a very wise man (I'm sorry it took me so long to get it Warren) and I am going to eventually put my work out there for people's enjoyment but I am probably not going to utilize critique groups any longer or ask for critiques from people.  I need to learn to do it on my own at some point anyway, especially if it's going to be a career.

Now, as to having a clear view and a loose hold, I've found that some advice from another friend of mine has been very useful in getting me to write again.  I ended up free writing an interesting scene for the story that popped into my head.  It's only about 5 pages, I have NO idea where it actually is in the story but it allowed me to decide a great many things about where the story was going.  I haven't done a concrete outline with this one in the same way I have previously and writing this future scene I have found the desire and recaptured my interest in the story.  From that point on I started writing the chapter I'd left unfinished and I am feeling altogether good about everything once more.

Will I end up using that chapter?  Who knows, I might use it and expand on it, I might use it as a jumping point or I might never actually utilize what I've written in this story in any of my chapters but I find I'm not so worried about that at the moment.  What I need to concentrate on is what I CAN do and what I can do is write and get more of the story done.  For once I've actually been up for incredible amounts of time and I'm still going strong.  Every time I stop and hesitate this time I go back and continue writing on a different scene.  I read in one of my books a suggestion to write scenes on cue cards with character names.  You write all the interesting scenes you can think of for each character then arrange them.  That's the quick look of it, but hey!  It seems to be a good system for me.  I'll keep it up and maybe I'll finish another chunk of my novel.  I think this has finally been my tipping point and now I just have to keep myself from procrastinating!

(The blog post is an obligation and it helps me keep track of the things I find out, so I don't entirely consider it procrastination! lol!)